Making Fun Of Kaman

Chris Kaman is a GOOBER.

I wrote this piece the other day as a tongue-n-cheeky plot to get readers and poke fun at Clippers owner Donald Sterling. It worked, and even though it's silly, I kinda like it.

Goobernatorial Olympian Chris Kaman: Clippers "lied"!

German American Chris Kaman, one of the world’s largest golden retrievers, no longer looks like a serial killer since cutting his Mordorish locks but maintains his status as the National Basketball Association’s answer to Marmaduke and those nasty rulers from Orc. He changed his appearance to fan cheers last season for a more conservative, more aggressive look, and the result was another horrendous Clippers’ campaign in which he missed 26 games due to injury. But forget that, the Clippers organization is like a porn slut that doesn’t age, only to suck harder with each passing year. Today his challenge is a little different. He decided, based on his German heritage, to play for the German national basketball team in this summer’s Olympic games. Despite being born in America, and thus being an American, the giant golden retriever basketball player is making an impact for a German team all too happy to have him in their backcourt.

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